Kids are famous for lying. Especially from the age of 3 to 6. And it’s not because they lie, it’s how they lie that fascinates us.
It’s the juxtaposition of the lie and their unquestionable innocence that makes it just about the cutest thing you’ll ever see.
Then there’s the 7 to 11 year olds. At times their lies can rival the creations of the most successful science fiction writers of all time.
From 12 to 16? Look out. The brains of these pre-teen and teenage powerhouses are teaming with the ability to create deception delivery systems that are so clean and so smooth, they can just fly right by the average parent who may not be paying full attention for only a nano-second.
I have a brilliant teenaged nephew named Sam. When he was 6 years old, even from a philosophical standpoint, everyone in our family knew his intellect was far beyond his years.
So I wasn’t surprised when he stoically presented a 2 minute long, logic based story of deception that included 3 American Indians, trained owls, and an old man riding donkey. All to explain the disappearance of 2 chocolate chip cookies and a Twix.
If you could watch a video of Sam’s story with the sound down, you would understand right away, he was telling a “whopper”. That harks back to what retired FBI agent and body language expert, Joe Navarro says; “You can have a ‘poker face’, but you can’t have a ‘poker body’.”
When lying, the kids in junior high and high school tend to use the deception tactics they learn from friends, movies, TV shows, and the internet. Luckily for their parents, almost 90% of the information they gather and use is incorrect.
If there were 3 things kids would hope their parents would never learn about lying, they would probably be these 3. Because they tend to use these most often…
3 Things Your Kids Don’t Want You To Know About Lying
1- The person who does NOT break eye contact when answering, is more likely to be lying than the person who does break eye contact.
2- When lying, quite often they will present you with facts containing way too much specificity.
3- When they are “jiggling” their leg you’ll need to keep asking questions if their leg stops jiggling after the first question. The same goes if the leg starts jiggling after you ask the main question.
There are many more cues or “tells” that not only kids use, but adults use as well. Educating yourself on what those are, as well as how and what to do when you are presented with them, can be one of the most important tools you develop to help raise your kids.
Are there situations that come up that leave you unsure if your child is telling you the truth about where they are going or they have been?