Inside My Body Language Briefcase – Part 2: Tool #1 of 5.
The information you’re searching for will give you the insight to this person or these people that not many others have. That’s why it’s important the information is correct. Double check everything you hear from others about this person. This tool in my body language briefcase is especially important for the tools that follow.
Triple check everything you assume about this person. Now, let me explain what you’re searching for, then I’ll explain why you want to “Pre-Load” your brain with this information before meeting with this person/company.
The information to collect: When and where they were born – Where they are from – Religion – High school – College – Sports they played,were involved with, or are a fan of – Leisure activities – Hobbies. – Favorite vacation spots – Interests – How many children do they have – What are the children involved in/with; sports, hobbies, interests – Do they have pet/s -What kind of pet/s -Are they a “Dog Person”, “Cat Person”, “Reptile Person”, “Bird Person” – Do they collect: art, specific memorabilia, books, coins, stamps. Anything you can discover that person may be involved with or have an interest in.
Why you’re collecting the information: When meeting with someone new, there are three ways the person you’re meeting with will approach the situation; #1 They will want to like you. #2 They will want to dis-like you. #3 They will be indifferent about liking or dis-liking you.
Each scenario will be effected, for either good or bad, by the way you present yourself, what you talk about and show interest in, and how that person feels about you 1 week later. So your need to make that person feel familiar with you, even a little bit, is imperative to the outcome of all 3 scenarios.
How to use the information once your brain is loaded.
The key to using the information you’ve pre-loaded into your brain is releasing it in spots of conversation and situations that are natural and honest.
For example, you know the person you’re meeting with was a football star in college. A quarterback. He got a full football scholarship at Auburn in ’92.
Never twist that information so it fits into a made up scenario and say something like:
“Well, that reminds me of a game I saw in ’93. It was Auburn and Mississippi State. Auburn’s quarterback was brilliant…”
Number 1: That’s a lie.
Number 2: They will know you’re making it up.
Number 3: Any credibility you may have had up to that point is gone. Forever.
Here’s how you do it: Since you know most of his life he has been a huge football fan, you add football terms and sayings to your vernacular. Couch them in terms of similes and metaphors.
Instead of saying: “That entire campaign was a big plus for our company. Our VP of sales brought in more revenue than ever before. And our research and development department worked hard and finally benefitted as well.”
You might say: “That campaign was big a win for us. Our VP of sales made touchdown after touchdown, and our R&D team threw a ‘Hail Mary’ that scored big for us toward the end as well.”
That’s a bit too much because it’s just the example, but you get the idea. Sprinkle small bits on top of what you’re saying, and weave terms into your conversation so it seems and sounds natural. The same can be done with most any sport. If they have no favorite sport, then use one of their hobbies. But it MUST be a hobby they know you are aware of.
For example, let’s say the person told you in passing that woodworking was their hobby. In an explanation you could say:
“You’re a woodworking person. You build things. For you, working with our team/company would be like the perfect table. It’s put together well, sturdy, useful, looks good, and you can count on it, to not only do its job, but to be impressive as well. In any situation.”
Again, that’s bit much. But you get the idea.
The demeanor you must take on as you begin using these new tools is the insurance that everything will run smoothly. Tool #2 is the linchpin here. None of the tools will work for you as they should without it.
“Alpha Manner” refers to the behavior style and mannerisms of the most successful CEOs and business people. You’ll adopt this behavior style to blend in at meetings and other situations. These mannerisms stand out like a flare in the night sky over an ocean as soon as you understand what they are and learn to recognize them when they present themselves. And you can learn how to use them very easily.
You will find this tool an extremely powerful asset in any meeting from now on. We’ll go over those behaviors and how to adapt them to your style, in depth, in the next post in this series, Inside My Body Language Briefcase Part -3.