The Forgotten Body Language Key. As you begin learning about and becoming aware of all the Body Language keys you can take advantage of, there’s one that almost nobody ever remembers to use. And it’s probably the most potent tool you have at your disposal.
They’ll think about it once they are in review mode and are going over what to look for and when to ask a question and how to use their own Body Language to their advantage. But two minutes into an interaction, you can see it. They’ve forgotten all about the Body Language key nobody uses.
Last week I was consulting on a deposition.
The attorney that hired me was someone I had trained a few years back. He has actually become a great nonverbal decoder. As you probably already know, one of the most important things for an attorney to remember while questioning in a deposition is to pay attention to what their own Body Language is transmitting.
To make a long story short, this guy forgot all about that not 10 minutes into questioning. His “resting face” had turned from pleasant to a concerned frown. Needless to say the deposed was being continuously reminded to keep his guard up and pay close attention to the questions as well as his answers.
There are times when you want the person being deposed to feel that way. This was not one of those times. The attorney had forgotten all about the Body Language key nobody uses. Let me rephrase that… He remembered it, but they forgot about it two minutes later.
With all of the information you may have collected about nonverbal communication that you use in most every encounter, remembering to pay attention to how you look to others is the first thing you will probably forget. It’s possible you may not even think about it in the first place. Even when, like the attorney I just told you about, you may have been trained not to do that.
This isn’t something that’s hard to do… Or is it?
Of course it is! It’s the toughest thing to remember because you can’t see yourself! There’s nobody to remind you to stop frowning, looking angry, grinning weird, or looking bored! So what’s the “fix” for this?
All you need is a simple reminder. One you won’t mistake or get used to seeing. For example let’s say you’re an attorney, a CEO, or an HR professional, and you’re going to be looking at your notes as you speak or ask questions. With a red marker, put 3 red dots just to the left of your text.
When you see them they will instantly remind you to pay attention to your Body Language, your nonverbal cues, and what you’re facial expression is transmitting.
The Most Potent Body Language Key
From this point forward, make that the first and foremost tool to use on your list. Approach it as something you must do. Like wearing a seatbelt. If you don’t put your seatbelt on, your car reminds you. Think of the 3 Red Dots like that. A simple, but powerful, reminder.