Inside My Body Language Briefcase – Part 3
The key to blending in with a group of Alphas is to use the same tactic animals use out in the wild. You must appear the same as your surroundings. You must “blend in with the landscape” so to speak.
However, in this scenario, the “landscape” is the collection of people in the room. Here’s how you do that: First, understand that 90% of the time, the Alpha in the room is going to move differently from 95% of the others in the room.
What you’re looking for to spot the Alpha, or to mimic the Alpha (and let’s not confuse mimic with mirroring), are the moves he or she doesn’t make. In fact, fairly soon, you will realize the Alpha moves less than anyone else in the room (again, that’s 95% of the time). And when they do move, those movements are not hurried, they are not jerky, and they are not quick.
The Alpha’s movements are almost like Tai-Chi compared to the others in the room. Very smooth. Easy. Intentional. Their posture is sometimes perfect. There are situations where some Alphas slouch, move quickly, and go against everything I’m talking about here.
Again most business Alphas don’t do that. You want to move, act, speak, and react, the same as the other Alphas in the room.
Keep in mind, if you do what I’m going to describe to you the wrong way, you will look strange and out of place. To everyone. Avoiding that is of the utmost importance.
Pay close attention to an Alpha who exhibits these behaviors. Copy and practice the way that Alpha moves and speaks, but not so much that it makes you feel and look uncomfortable or un-natural.
Here are some of the things you need to pay attention to and watch for so you can learn to act like a CEO, successful business person, or an Alpha in general. These behaviors telegraph who and what type of person you are and the type of people you like to be associated with.
-After a question, watch for the length of the pause before they speak. Pay attention to the pauses as the Alpha answers questions, asks questions, and, makes statements.
-When listening, notice how still the Alpha stays.
-When reaching for a pen, notebook, bottle of water, etc., pay attention to how close they are to the object before reaching. Do their arms stretch an uncomfortable distance? Or not far at all?
-When speaking, do they use 20 words when 10 words will do? Are there more adjectives and more qualifiers than there should be? Are their sentences structured to impress a scientist, or are they constructed so a 5th grader can easily understand them?
–When the Alpha disagrees, does he/she speak with and react in terms of emotion, or do they react with a calm controlled demeanor?
-Does the Alpha’s “Resting Face” show a frown, a blank look, or a pleasant inviting expression?
-Upon discovering, or being made aware of, a mistake or miscommunication, does the Alpha become angry and loud, or remain calm and make decisions quickly and non emotionally?
–When the Alpha requests coffee, water, or lunch, do they ask with respect or are they demanding?
-Is the Alpha the first one to enter the room for the meeting, are they waiting on everyone else, or do they arrive a few minutes late?
-Does the Alpha dress like a Hipster or a business person?
-Does the Alpha have to have an answer that “one ups” everyone else’s answers?
-Where does the Alpha place his/her hands when speaking to the rest of the people at the meeting? When speaking with someone one-on-one?
-Is the Alpha’s vernacular peppered with course language, or are they confident enough with themselves to speak respectfully to everyone in the room?
As soon as the person or people you are meeting with realize you are like them, they will relax much faster and begin to feel they are in a good place.
Once that happens, it’s time to put tool #3 into play.
So, we’re upgrading your Deception Meter. Your ability to spot deception in a conversation or meeting is going to improve by around 400%. To do that, we’re gonna focus on the 2 most important things concerning non verbal communication.
We’ll get into both of those in depth in the next post.