Are Manipulators and Regulators part of your conversation style? Do you ever feel your part of the conversation is being manipulated? Or regulated?
You may not realize it, but it happens to you quite often. As well, you’re most likely the manipulator and regulator of conversations more often than you may think…
What Are Manipulators And Regulators?
Manipulators and Regulators are Gestures we use when we want to speed up or slow down a conversation. We use them to get someone to talk louder or more quietly. We use them to pause someone mid-conversation to answer a quick question from someone else just entering the room. They play an important part in understanding Body Language.
For example when you’re in enveloped in an important conversation and someone enters the room with information you may need, you’ll probably hold your hand up at chest level with your index finger pointing straight up. Your eyebrows will go up as well.
You’ll turn to the other person with your eyebrows up even further. Your head will tilt back with your chin slightly forward . Your hand gestures and eyebrows are the Regulators at this point. You may say something like “Hi there, what have you got?”.
Using Gestures Correctly Can Be Impressive
When I lived in Boston a fire broke out in the apartment building across the street from us. The firetrucks showed up immediately. While putting on their smoke masks and firefighting gear, the Firemen gathered in front of the Chief as he directed them where to go and told them what to do.
The situation changed dramatically as the Chief received information about people trapped and lost inside the burning building.
Watching him use his Regulators as he gathered, while at the same time dispensed, orders was almost like a choreographed play. It was fast and there was a lot of action, but he controlled the conversations he had with the Firemen while at the same time controlling the speed of the incoming information from others like a conductor of an orchestra. It was truly impressive.
Using Manipulators And Regulators Properly
Most of us do something similar when using Manipulators and Regulators, but on a much smaller scale. Keep in mind, using Gestures is fine. In fact, most people prefer you use Gestures instead of just standing there when you talk to them.
They help make the important points, ideas, and suggestions stick out while at the same time keeping the not so important information in its place.
If you’re a person who uses plenty of Manipulators and Regulators, be sure to keep them under control. If your arms are flailing around and making Gestures that are much too large, you may give the impression you can’t completely control what you’re doing and you may accidentally knock yourself out of the Alpha spot in the room.
On the other hand, if they’re way too small you may not be communicating with the impact you’d like to deliver during your conversations and presentations.
Be yourself when conversing, pitching, or presenting. However, be sure to add impact to the specific words, phrases, and ideas you’re delivering by using Manipulators and Regulators properly.
Are there people you know that use these Gestures too little or too often? What Gestures have you seen that are “too big” to you? Let me know on Twitter at @ScottRouse3.