You Can TRY To Turn It Off

When You're Always Decoding Body Language

You Can TRY To Turn It Off.  Greg Hartley and I were swapping stories on the phone and we began discussing what people say when we tell them what we do.  Inevitably, within three to seven minutes most every person asks, “Can you turn it off?”

Scott Rouse - Body Language Expert - Professional Speaker - Keynote Speaker - Number 1 - try to turn it off

It Depends On The Situation  Greg said something I hadn’t thought about, but it holds true for me as well;  “If I’m around people I know, or people I’m well acquainted with, I’m fairly relaxed.  However, If I’m talking to someone and they say something that doesn’t sound right, then all of the tools turn on…”

The same thing happens to a sales prospect or an investor watching a pitch.  Everything is great.  Suddenly, for some reason they aren’t aware of,  they begin to feel like something just isn’t right.  Their Limbic Brain told them to pay close attention because something was up.

There Are No “Absolutes”  

The salesperson or the entrepreneur may have said something that was correct, but it “looked” wrong due to the words she used combined with something she did with her body.  For example, let’s say the pitcher said “This is how we make money, and this chart shows where we’ll be financially in 5 years.”

Maybe the investor’s Limbic Brain saw the pitcher’s arms were spread out, with open hands and palms pointed straight up toward the ceiling, while her shoulders went up and down quickly as she shook her head “no” and her head dropped toward her chest a bit.

If you looked at her but couldn’t hear what she was saying, the body language she transmitted would tell you, “I don’t know about this part.  Seriously, I don’t have a clue.”

Keep in mind, a single body movement or facial expression doesn’t prove someone is being either truthful or dishonest.  It just lets you know there’s something going on with that piece of information.  As Joe Navarro says “There’s an issue”.

The “issue” could represent many different things, and when you see the Nonverbals that let you know there’s an issue it’s tough not to think “That person just lied”.  That’s why I say “You can try to turn it off.”

If we followed “The Rule of 3′s” we would see:

– #1. Her hands were performing “Mercy Hands”.  That alone makes it look like she’s saying, “Please have mercy on me… Please believe me…”.

– #2. Her head shakes “No” as she’s supposedly affirming a fact.

– #3. Her shoulders come up as her head goes down then back to normal very quikly.  That suggests “I don’t know the answer/I’m not sure about my answer.”

You Can TRY To Turn It Off  

You may ask, “Wouldn’t you know for sure she’s being dishonest since she did all three of those moves?”

Ah… Here’s where it gets interesting.  Let’s say, like most salespeople and CEO’s, she’s extremely particular and picky about her numbers.  What if she just got this information from her new CFO and it was correct?  However, it was put in the pitch-deck before she had time to make sure it was correct.

That’s another big reason it’s important for those selling and/or pitching to understand the “Body Language Frankenstein” concept.  Even though you’re being honest, you may look to others like you’re being deceitful.

You must learn what it looks like when you’re unsure, honest, deceitful, ashamed, confident, etc.  So, when the time comes to pitch and you need to look, act, and speak, with confidence and conviction, you’ll be able to.  When you can do that smoothly, your sales prospects and investors will feel good about you and what you’re saying and will feel much better about buying or investing. 

Once you learn the nonverbals you’re looking for, you can try to turn it off, but it’s gonna be tough.  Because as soon as you see an adaptor and illustrator or a barrier, you’ll start wondering what’s really going on with that person and what they’re saying.  Follow me on Twitter and Instagram for daily updates and more information you can use.